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BirdSong Education and Counseling -  Home  Contents

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ASSERTIVENESS

Basic Assertive Rights

    "An important key to becoming more assertive is developing the ability to accept your assertive rights. When you deny yourself these rights, you deny an important part of your humanity, and you can work harm on yourself and on those close to you. When you fail to accept these rights, you in effect tell yourself that you must prove your worth by doing all you can to please others, forgetting about yourself and never inconveniencing or upsetting others. What happens when you do this? You suppress your assertive impulses and avoid saying what you want, think, or feel so that you won't feel guilty. Instead you feel hurt, resentful, or disqusted with yourself.

Accepting rights and acting on them in a responsibly assertive manner does not mean demanding more than you deserve. It only means asking for a share of consideration and courteous treatment. It does not mean thinking only about yourself and becoming insensltive to other people. Assertive rights can be expressed in humane, considerate ways. Accepting rights means acting in ways that tend to equalize power rather than overpower others. When you are responsibly assertive, you express who you are without infringing on others."

  1. The right to act In ways that promote your dignity and self respect as long as others' rights are not violated in the process
  2. The right to be treated with respect
  3. The right to say no and not feel guilty
  4. The right to experience and express your feelings
  5. The right to take time to slow down and think
  6. The right to change your mind
  7. The right to ask for what you want
  8. The right to do less than you are humanly capable of doing
  9. The right to ask for information
  10. . The right to make mistakes
  11. . The right to feel good about ourselves

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Last modified: February 02, 2010