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ASSERTIVENESS
Requests: Things to Keep In Mind
Refusing Requests:
1. Identify whether you really do or do not want to accept the request.
2. Acknowledge to yourself your right to express your true desire.
3. Simply say "No" without apology. You may give a reason, but you are not obligated to justify your reponse.
4. You may ask for time to think about the request.
5. You may ask for more information or clarification.
6. Saying "No" does not imply that you reject the other person. You are simply refusing a request.
7. Take responsibility yourself for your decision. Express your decision as an "1" statement.
8. The other person has a right to have feelings about your refusal and to express them.
9. Refusing a request is a skill you can learn.
Making Requests:
1. Identify for yourself what you want.
2. Acknowledge to yourself your right to make your wants known.
3. Be direct.
4. No justification is necessary, although explanations may help.
5. No apology is necessary.
6. Be prepared to hear "No" as well as "Yes" and respect the other person's right to say it.
7. Do not take a negative response personally. The other person is refusing your request, not rejecting you.
8. Asking for what you want is a skill you can learn.
